Wizard of Finance

1. Birthday - The Sugarcubes: Start this week off with some Bjork. This track used to play all the time when I was working at Urban Outfitters. You ever worked retail before? I was getting a haircut over the weekend and talking about how shit it is. Like, the best days when working retail are the days that you don’t have to do anything except fold some shirts or whatever, but god damn does that get old quick. I get bored easy so I need to be doing something with these mitts of mine. I don’t really have much more to say about this track… it’s good!

2. (sic) - Slipknot: The other day I was working and one of the bartenders at the brewery we were at had on a Slipknot shirt that was in like the Seinfeld logo style. I, of course, said something about it, but was told by my coworkers later that I basically Name 5 Songs’d this girl. So, if you’re the beautiful bartender from Whippoorwill Brew House that I accidentally Name 5 Songs’d a couple weeks ago, I am genuinely sorry and did not mean to do that

3. Act Up - City Girls: I’ve been on a City Girls kick for a while now, man. Their music makes me want to act up, pardon the low hanging fruit there. I also recently learned that Lil Yachty had a hand in writing this track, which is a fun piece of trivia. It’s hard for me to decide if I’m more of a JT or a Yung Miami kinda guy, but the best part of the Girls is that you really never have to decide. Make it clap like I got the right answer

4. Vengeance - Tchernobyl: French Oi Punk darlings Tchernobyl are a perfect example of keeping the flame alive. Moshing straight out of the 80’s, this group of S.H.A.R.P.’s (Skin Heads Against Racial Prejudice) has been a mainstay of the French punk scene since 2018. Like most music scenes around the world, underground French punk faced a decline recently due to COVID, but I was actually able to catch their first show since lockdown started on Instagram Live the other day. They haven’t lost their grit, or their keen fashion sense

5. Misfit - GrindHard E: I fucking love this song. It feels almost like a diary entry, the way that E keeps messing lines up, vocally scribbling them out, and starting over in order to get things right. He’s surprisingly candid about his Actavis addiction, losing his friends to indictments and violence, and the fact that he voted for Joe Biden. This is gonna go down as Sleepybear’s Driving Track of the Week, just make sure you crank the bass on your stereo to 11

6. Slow Down - Skip Marley feat H.E.R. (P2J Remix): At the end of the day man it’s important to slow down and share your blessings with those around you. Topping the cups off of those you care about, making sure that the only time you look in your neighbor’s bowl is to ensure they have enough, keeping things light and bringing positivity to your relationships is important. Listen to me, or don’t, I can’t tell you how to live man

7. Another Space Song - Failure: This track wins Coolest Cover Art of the Week (GrindHard E was a close second, but he can’t win two weekly awards, that wouldn’t be fair.) A good track to roll something up to, throw on the star projector, and just coast into a sleeve of Oreo’s

8. Jackson - Johnny and June Cash: I want to paint every town red the way that I feel like Johnny Cash did. This mother fucker was around for all of the cool new drug waves of the 1900’s, and most likely tried all of them. Plus he was supremely talented and one of the most important American musicians of all time. I’m sorry, Jackson, but your shit is about to get rocked, kid

9. Wizard of Finance - Parliament: I need the Czar to explain to me, a simple non-wizard, what a Wizard of Finance actually is. Does? Becomes? I have no idea, and with the resident Wiz expert just a phone call away, I might have to do some research on this one. Parliament closes the week out with some funk and flavor.

When you’re the Wizard of Finance, you don’t have to worry about anything. Your ROI is insane, you never miss on stocks, you just got your real estate license and are moving in to commercial properties. This kind of shit only happens to people who are prepared. Take it from me, the Assistant to the Wizard of Finance. I get some scraps every now and again, but hey, I’d rather eat scraps then go hungry

Sleepybear

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