Fake Glizzie, in Real Life
z1045Synthesize Me - The Space Lady
1 of 1. Glizzie is unsynthesizable.
You could emergency airlift the 1000 best in the world - the best programmers, carpenters, bakers, archaeologists, etc. Those who have created our finest codes, installed our best framework, gotten our most bread, unearthed our most bones (the bones are our money) - airlift them to the world’s biggest Mall of America-sized lab with all the state of the art shit - I’m talking CRISPR and da Vinci Robots and Theraguns and Google Glass - to give it a try, but they wouldn’t be able to do shit. They would all get really angry at each other and would go insane. They’d smash all of the state of the art shit with baseball bats pretending they were Hank Aaron, Barry Bonds, and of course, David Ortiz. “Play ball!”, they’d scream. “You’re out!” Jesus fucking christ. This is so dumb.
They’d leave the lab forever, unknowing what they would leave behind.
Because, you see, this has all happened before. The 1000 best, they basically did do it. 45 weeks ago, beneath the ash and the rubble, in a post-apocalyptic shell of itself, the Mall of America-lab birthed the perfect mistake (just like the real Glizzie): Fake Glizzie, in Real Life. However, he was delivered without one thing. Missing. Something seemingly impossible to obtain. Something even the 1000 best couldn’t give him. And for that reason, he is no good, and he is fake
No G.D.M. - Gina X Performance
No Glizzie Doesn’t Matter
Eden - Tkay Maidza
Birthplace of the real Glizzie.
“Whatever happened to those good old times?
Loving things that you once had.
Still keep going 'round and 'round in my head”Hey, Hey Helen - ABBA
“So at last, you’re free, it’s the way you wanted it to be”
THE SHINING - Vince Staples
Becoming my favorite Vince song, period.
“It's not what you think.
I could be gone in a blink, I don't wanna leave”
Holes - Mercury Rev
I’ve been watching so much playoff basketball over the past couple of weeks. Every time someone’s launched a brick, the brick has actually put a hole in my TV screen. Just yesterday, someone stuck his face through one of the bigger holes from the other side, proceeded to climb through it, and revealed to me that he’s been looking at me and watching me every day through that hole.
He said this season sucks and my character development has been pretty sad. I told him I couldn’t really blame him cause I don’t really do anything anymore. Then I told him to get his ass back through that hole and he said, “I’ll look into it”
I Love You So Much It Hurts - R. Stevie Moore
The Future is in the Past
Under Your Spell - Desire
And I need WZRD the Czar to undo it
Verrückte Jungs - Blümchen
German for “Crazy Boys”. Fitting.
Press Play as soon as someone calls the Uber/Lyft. Just over 5 minutes to finish your bier.
Prost!
God Sent Me Here To Rock You - Naomi Elizabeth
One thing will always be missing. Not even the real Glizzie has it anymore - but if he never had it, he wouldn’t be Glizzie in the first place. Make sense? It’s what makes Glizzie, Glizzie.
You might ask… Since he doesn’t currently have it, is Glizzie Fake Glizzie?
And… What the hell even is it?
Valid questions.
First off. F*ck Fake Glizzie. God sent him here to rock Glizzie and make him feel like he’s missing something. In reality, it was missing, but it was never lost, so Glizzie is still Glizzie. Feel me? And cause he’s still Glizzie, he’s still stubborn as hell, so he’ll get it back. He’ll find it.
As for what it is, well, the answer is in the music.
No, they are not Glizzie’s songs, but, yes, they are Glizzie’s feelings. As Glizzie continues to search, he continues to leave his trail. That way, once he finds what he’s lost, he can look back and remember exactly how it felt to live without her
⛺️
